Friday: Mixed Feelings

Today has been a bit of a mixed bag of feelings for me. I awoke to the breaking news story that the United Kingdom (UK) has voted to leave the European Union (EU). Yes, I voted. I won’t say for which side because that isn’t how democracy works.

It seems a lot of people have been misguided into believing that now the UK is out of the EU they’re all going to be rounded up, deported and made redundant. This is not the case, it is 2016 not 1939. 

As i’m sitting at the dining room table with my cup of coffee the Prime Minister gives a speech. In short he is going to resign as Prime Minister in October, before the Conservative Party Conference. 

It is said that change is a good thing. I don’t personally believe this quote. Every time I have changed something for the better I always miss something of the old. Whether its a car, motorbike, job, a pair of shoes, anything. 

With a fresh change on the horizon maybe a change of leadership, and, a step back from the EU is a good thing?  Who knows? 

I’m not sure how it’s going to pan out. But, if we do descend into post-apocalyptic / political anarchy I’ll certainly be ready and keeping myself well out of the way.

Friday: Mixed Feelings

The Walking Dead (Season 4)

I don’t really watch a lot of television. For some reason I don’t have the patience, or see the point, of binge watching an entire series in one day or night.

However; over the last few years I have stuck with The Walking Dead. Seasons One and Two I absolutely loved. The season finale at The Farm, in my opinion, was one of the best moments in television. 

Season three was a bit weak and seemed rather pointless. It did introduce us to some new characters, but the story felt slow and reptitive. I stuck with it though and watched it to the end. I still preferred season two’s finale to the finale of season three. 

I’m now on season four. This season has been gripping from the very beginning. The story has been fantastic it has kept my eyes glued to the screen. I would say backside glued to my seat but there have been some scary moments where I have just jumped out of my skin. The mid season finale was on par with finale of season two. At one point so much was happening I couldn’t comprehend what was going on. 

I have four more episodes of season four to go and i’m hooked. Who knows what seasons five and six have in store. I can’t wait to see what happens next. 

Anyway, I better get back to watching it. The last episode ended on the mother of all cliffhangers!! 

The Walking Dead (Season 4)

Blind Faith

I stand here on the edge. A cold, crisp breeze blows strongly against my face.

Beneath this precipice that defines my current situation is an endless void – Unknown and mysterious.

I, myself, am not afraid. This leap of blind faith signifies the strength I have to take a risk and accept the consequences. 

I inhale a long deep breath, shut my eyes and take my leap of blind faith. 

Blind Faith

The Sound of Silence

I’m lying in bed, the orange glow of the street lights are shining through my open curtains. The display of my alarm clock is illuminating my room in a dark shade of red.

The display on my clock is a blur of numbers. I’m too tired to comprehend what time the clock is displaying.
I lay there awake, a sense of drowsiness attacks me, but sleep continues to elude me. My mind seems to be in overdrive and my heart is beating out of my chest.

The sound of silence poisons me. My ears are now tuned into something beyond the quiet. A high pitch whistling fills my ears. I block my ears with my fingers and the noise feels like its embedded in my brain.

The high pitched whistling cancels out the quiet and I soon drift off to sleep. I awake to the buzzing of my alarm clock, I feel more exhausted than when my head first hit the pillow.

I sit on the edge of my bed, my hands rubbing my face. I mentally tell myself “another day, another dollar, up and at ’em.” I wake up and head downstairs for breakfast.

The Sound of Silence

Off Into The Night

I’m sitting here on my motorcycle at the junction. The red stop light shining bright in it’s prominent position high above the empty carriageway.

There is eager anticipation flowing through my veins. 

My single cylinder 500cc engine humming elegantly beneath me. The slight smell of petrol and exhaust fumes lingers in my nostrils. The cool summer night air caresses at my neck, I pull up my bandana. My leather jacket zipped only halfway up. 

The light changes to orange, I press my left foot down to change into first. The light hits green I release the clutch and open the throttle. The engine roars to life and I fly off into the night. . . . 

Off Into The Night

The Bright Light 

I’m crouching naked in the shower wondering where my life went wrong. Warm water splashes back of neck, the trickling of water flowing down the plug hole. That’s when the penny drops and I realise what direction my life is taking. 

I stand up, turn off the shower and start drying myself. I rub the towel through my longish curly hair, over my face, and then my torso. The course towel violently rubs my wet skin until dry. 

I bend over to pull on my clean boxers, my necklace getting caught up in my chest hair. I wince as I untangle my necklace from my chest hair. I quickly continue to get dressed to go out.

A shadow-like fear begins to work its way into my headspace.

My footsteps, creaking loudly as they resonate down the staircase and through the house. I put on my leather jacket, pick up my bike keys, grab my helmet and enter the garage. 

Key slides into ignition, engine starts, garage door opens, bright light shines through open door, fade to white. . . . . .


Life Update: March – June 2016

A lot of you keep asking me for an update, so, here is a small update of what’s been happening with me over the last three months.

Fitness – This year I’ve decided to turn over a new leaf and joined a local gym. I really want to push myself to get into shape. I’ve totally changed my diet and so far I think it’s working. I haven’t noticed any real progress yet. Who knows, by the end of the year I could end up looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

Reading – I’m loving my books. Since my last post in February I’ve decided to watch less T.V. and move away from binge watching stuff online. Instead when I’m not working and have some free down time i’ve picked up a book or a magazine. I feel so much better for it than watching a T.V. series that will probably do nothing more than kill a few brain cells.   

Planning my holiday – Since the trip to Cardiff I’ve switched my attention to planning my road trip in the U.S. I’m going with one of my good friends. The planning is going really well, and so far, we have a few ideas down on paper. A lot of credit goes to my friend, as he has done an absolute TON of research for it. 

Stress and feeling more isolated – For some reason, at times this year i’ve felt extremely alone and isolated. I send a lot of messages using different social media apps, and it sucks when my messages are just delivered and read / seen, rather than answered. I bring up the subject, receive one or two messages but it gets forgotten immediately and the old habits slip back in. Such is life, my own company seems better anyway! 

Practicing Swedish – My Swedish has improved a lot over the last 16 weeks. I’m using a course from Babbel which has been incredible. It’s not a free app, but you certainly get your value for money. By the end of the year i’ll almost certainly be able to hold down a conversation with The Swede.

Uncharted 4 – The Uncharted series has been a game series that i’ve followed since its initial release. The stories are epic and you really get immersed in Drakes current storyline. So far Uncharted 4 has been brilliant. The story has kept me glued to my chair. The action has been amazing too. Just when you think you’re winning a fight a whole ton of reinforcements turn up. In Uncharted 4 the combat system is really well done. You can choose to use stealth and sneak your way through or grab a weapon and blast your way out. I like to use a mix of both combat styles. I haven’t finished the main story line yet as I keep getting sidetracked with the addictive multiplayer!! 

The Second Swedish Adventure – In May The Swede invited me back to Sweden for a week. We went to visit, and, stay with her amazing family. We then headed to Stockholm for a few days. Stockholm is a beautiful city! It feels like London only with less people! We hit Stockholm hard. Every night we would return to the hotel feeling exhausted. We managed to see The Vasa Museum, The Abba Museum, Skansen, The Royal Palace, City Hall and my favourite Gamla Stan (or The Old Town) in three days! If I could choose to live somewhere it would be Gamla Stan. It’s quaint, quiet and there a lot of places to get a nice cuppa’ and immerse myself in a good book. 

Apart from work – This sums up what has been happening in the World of Me. I’m aiming to meet my fitness targets on a weekly basis and my language goals on monthly basis. With that in mind it seems that i’ve got plenty of things to do to keep me busy for the rest of the year!! 

Life Update: March – June 2016